SHUT IN / SHUT OUT
Did/do you feel any pressure from society or other expectations in your choice to become/ not become a parent?
"Since I come from a conservative and collectivistic culture, of course, the pressure is there. My parents, family, and community expected me to get married before a certain age, settle down, and have a kid(s). I don't want that, and I'm lucky enough to be able to express that to my parents openly. They still don't fully accept my decision, but they don't argue with it so much anymore."
"Ada pressure, tp gak membuat saya gegabah dan fomo. Ada dari ortu, karena orang tua sudah berumur, kelihatannya pengen gendong cucu seperti teman2 sebayanya. Dan ada pula dr teman satu geng karena sudah nikah dan merencanakan untuk punya anak."
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"Yes, pressure is there, but it's not making me fear of missing out from the society (if I choose not to). Obviously from parents, as they are getting older, they want to have grand children just like their community. Secondly, (pressure comes) from the closer peer group that already married and planning to have kids.
"Feel nothing. Thanks to mutual tolerance between people, the pressure is not very great. The development of the nation and society requires young blood, which is a social responsibility. If everyone does not become parents, humanity will cease to exist."
"I think there is a family pressure or expectation - I would say it came from my own mother, who expected to become a grandmother."
"Yes, the people around me have exerted most of the pressure. For example, when parents' friends become grandparents, it can be pressure-inducing. Or when friends get married and have children, it can also be pressure-inducing. There's also pressure related to the optimal fertility period for women, which is influenced by the economic cost of having children. Most young people nowadays are not very keen on having children, partly due to hormonal reasons and many objective factors that make them prefer having pets."
"Worry about whether they can fulfill the role of a mother, whether their lives will undergo earth-shattering changes due to the arrival of their children, or whether they may not be able to achieve their personal career and life goals."
"My internal body clock - at 32 I felt that I was becoming older and was running out of time. Having children was something I always expected of myself from childhood. So the pressure was mostly put on myself from the biological standpoint, and a fear of missing out. But i was under the impression I could still achieve my dreams and aspirations as well as having a child, which has not been the case in reality. I think society put this expectation onto me."